“You know that dressing you up like a doll is very fulfilling for me sexually.”
– Gideon Graves, Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Being forcibly stripped or coerced into stripping can be incredibly erotic. As the layers fall away and vulnerable parts are revealed, status, power and resistance drop bodily as a mantle.
But for me, being dressed up by a top can be just as hot, if not more so.
I’ve always loved the way costumes and even everyday clothes completely change the way you hold yourself. Halloween is nearly upon us, and I fondly remember hitting spooky parties over the years as, variously: Corseted Spider, My Little Pony, Undead Little Mermaid, Red Panda Shaman, Virgin Sacrifice, Exploding Lemming etc. Every silly costume transformed my movements, my confidence and my character, and energised me from wig to toe.
In Kink Land, costumes weave similar spells, but in a filthier way, with more emotional risk. Wearing a dog costume to walk around raising money for charity means nothing if you’re not also into furry play. It’s at least a little frightening to dress in a way that sexually excites you, especially in front of a person who knows this. By putting something on, you are revealing yourself to them and trusting them with your secret self.
Contrast is a key part of the link between clothing and kink – how does your daytime persona clash with your kinky alter-ego, and does the gulf between the two intensify the alchemy? Just as a sharp-suited, well-paid lawyer might enjoy being straightjacketed or harnessed, I like nothing better than being taken from confident, scruffy, boyish adult woman to…well, there are a few options.
1. The Sweetest Little Girl Ever
As I’ve said before, I have no interest in Little life. I don’t care for teddies, toys (unless they buzz) or kids’ tv. Playing the happy babygirl is completely uninteresting to me.
BUT a scene in which a top forces me into a pretty little party dress, ties ribbons in my hair and makes me hold a teddy or doll for an embarrassing photo? Electric.
I have VERY strict requirements for the dress, by the way, which will surprise anyone who tried unsuccessfully to dress me nicely as a child. In no particular order, these are:
i) Puff sleeves or a ruffled neckline. But usually puff sleeves.
But not these huge, ugly Kardashian ones that seem to be in fashion right now. More like this:
ii) A full, swishy tutu of a skirt ending way above the knee (to show off any embarrassing underwear)
OR an empire-line minidress, draped to mask tits and hips in favour of a little-girl silhouette.
iii) Frills, bows, ruffles, lace and a Peter Pan collar.
“It’s your turn, Marigold.”
iv) Minimal shiny fabric/mostly natural fibres
I don’t like many male sissy dresses because they look satiny and cartoonish. Much prefer a scaled-up version of a plausible little girl’s birthday dress. Particularly like cotton, broderie anglaise and smocking.
v) Pastel colours, often with white or pale trim.
At this point I’d very much like to recommend the Etsy shop StrawberryPlusDDLG, who produce some of the most scarily authentic toddlerish clothing for grown-ups, including this gem:
2. Slut-in-Training
Acting ‘sexy’ is just as unappealing to me as acting like a giggling babygirl. It’s a hyperfeminine mode – like being a Little girl – that doesn’t come naturally to me. I don’t even like posing in a finger-sucking, come-hither sexy way – if you’ve seen my photos on FetLife, you’ll see both HH and I are far more into campy, outraged characters who come a cropper at the hands of mean tops. Messy, dishevelled, bedraggled, indignant, bested, locked, spanked, stood, sulky, pouty – these are all more interesting adjectives to me than pretty, beautiful, hot, glamorous etc.
BUT give me a character who DOESN’T want to be sexy, then squeeze me into a spanking dress and high heels as part of a punishment or slut-training scene, lace me into a corset or posture collar to alter my walk or smear make-up all over my face, a la Closet Land, and I’m jumping aboard.
3. Status-slashing clothing (uniforms, rags etc.)
This one might be familiar from the first story I posted on H2H, Down A Peg. I love the idea of a social position being tied to a person’s clothing, then taken from them, to be replaced with something much more lowly. In Down A Peg, Victoria values her privilege, wealth and ability to order others around, so demoting her to scullery maid and dressing her in sackcloth was very enjoyable.
This story may have been inspired by reading A Little Princess as a child, in which the wealthy Sara Crewe is left penniless after her father dies, and in order to keep a roof over her head at her boarding school must go from pupil to ragged, unpaid maid. Sara is very dignified in her suffering, but the idea of being given rags to wear in front of those who knew you in your finery stayed with me.
I struggle to play upper-class characters and brats, so it’s rare I’ll do a scene like that myself, but I can definitely play a sullen, uncooperative teenager forced to learn the curtseys and etiquette of a prim little maid, with dire consequences for not being neat and sweet enough.
See also: Josie Packard, the glamorous mill owner in Twin Peaks, being blackmailed into a twee maid’s uniform and made to serve her gloating sister-in-law Catherine Martell. Stripped of her chic, masculine suit, neat quiff and strong makeup, and forced into a humiliating, girlish uniform in front of a former business associate, Josie’s whole physicality becomes smaller, clumsier and more submissive.
Social status can definitely apply to peer group acceptance. If you set a great deal of store by being cool, the ultimate humiliation might be swapping your leather jacket and band t-shirt for stained nylon trousers, train-track braces and a naff Eat/Pray/Love t-shirt. For the tomboys, being paraded on a pageant float in a froofy gown, sash and massive crown would be pretty blushworthy. Or for the badasses out there, could there be much worse than being strong-armed into a perky cheerleader uniform and flashing your knickers doing cartwheels in front of your sniggering former gang.
The power of clothing to excite, surprise and humiliate is something I continually rediscover. Depending on a partner’s fetishes, there are plenty of ways to tailor this kink. Cut your cloth accordingly!
Happy Halloween!