Content warnings for this story (click here for guide):
Arriving at Lily and Finn’s house on the last day of her punishment, Ash felt an odd mixture of emotions. Relief was the main one, tempered with uncertainty over the costume she might be given that day. Regret and shame about bullying Lily. Confusion about Finn – what was this sadistic side to him, and why was it awful but at the same time…not entirely awful?
The week had been mortifying, and her tough-girl persona had been smothered forever by all those frills, wigs, boobs, bows and frocks. Maybe today she’d get off lightly. She wouldn’t mind being a rag doll, say, or a robot toy. Whatever it was, she could do this.
Ash shook her head and folded her arms.
Lily looked confused. She had worked so hard to get all the things together.
“Trouble, Lil? I told you she might be stubborn about this one.”
He turned to Ash, who was still shaking her head.
“Last day. Then it’s over. Come on.”
Ash would not uncross her arms.
“I won’t do it. I don’t care what you do to me.”
Finn sent his sister downstairs. “Let me have a word with your doll, Lil.”
He pulled the door to, and came close.
“Do you need me to make you get dressed?”
Part of Ash wanted to drop-kick him for his patronising question. Part of her wanted to see what he meant. She gritted her teeth.
“Do what you want. You won’t get me into that.”
Finn took her wrist, made eye contact and swiftly pulled her across his lap. Ash gasped as he ran his hand over her bottom.
“Now,” he said. “Do you want to do this the easy, good-girl way, or the hard way?”
Ash felt a sudden urge, and went with it.
Finn was unfazed. “Right. You’ve made your choice.”
He unbuttoned her jeans and tugged them down, leaving her cotton underwear showing. Ash blushed as he grazed her bottom again.
WHACK. WHACK. WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.
God, he had a hard hand! Fucking OW! She writhed and squirmed, squeaking as his hand landed, but she didn’t give in. She could outlast this, surely! Anything was better than wearing THAT.
Finn paused after a particularly hard slap and rubbed her bottom again.
“How are we feeling about our nice school outfit?”
He grinned. “Very well.”
Ash heard him reach for something on the table beside them. When he brought down the bath brush, she howled.
“Because you’re being very naughty and behaving like…well, appropriately for your outfit today.”
THUD. THUD. THUD.
Ash kicked and thrashed but Finn’s leg and hand kept her firmly in place.
“You want me to stop? Ask to wear your clothes for the day.”
THUD. THUD. THUD.
“Fine. I can carry on like this all morning, but we’ll be late. And then everyone will be looking!”
“Nuh-noo! Nuh! Unhhh!” Ash felt as though her bottom was on fire. It was unbearable! That brush! That damned brush! “Nuh – please! Please! OK! Please!”
Finn continued spanking, addressing her in a calm, measured voice.
“Please what? ‘Please carry on smacking your bottom’?”
Ash kicked and kicked as she wailed. “Please – gahhh – please muh – ughh, MAYIWEARIT?”
Finn stayed the bath brush.
“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Say it again, please.”
Ash growled and Finn dealt her a smart trio of blows with the brush.
“YEOWWW! OK OK OK OK!”
Another pause. Finn tapped the brush lightly against her knickers.
Ash winced as she heard herself say.
“Please may I wear…?”
“Please may I wear my…baby-doll outfit?”
“Lily!” yelled Finn, helping Ash to her feet. “I think Tilly’s ready to be a good dolly for her mummy today!”
“Brave girl,” he said to Ash, and scruffed her hair. “By the way, that’s a lovely shade of pink under your knickers. I suspect they won’t be needed today.”
Ash hid her face as Lily’s excited footsteps thundered upstairs.
“AWWWWW!” chorused the gang at the school gates as Lily approached with her living doll. “Wook at the wittle BAAAAABY!”
Lily beamed as she manoeuvred the pushchair past them, managing to accidentally jab the ringleader in the ribs with a sweet “Sorryyyyy!”
“Oi, you little shit!” he began, but his friend pulled him back.
“Mate, no. Leave that one alone or she’ll do the same to you. You’ve seen what she’s done to Ash Pace.”
The ringleader turned pale at the prospect, and Ash cringed down to her soul as she bumped and crinkled along in the buggy, looking down at her final outfit.
To begin with, she’d been fitted with a short curly wig in creamy blonde. On top of this, she wore a sugar-pink bonnet trimmed with lace, tied under her chin with a satin bow.
Her mouth had been stuffed with a blue dummy, which she suckled on anxiously, just trying to get through the nightmare this day promised to be.
Her dress today was a pink cotton toddler smock with puff sleeves, a sweet scalloped collar and ABC building blocks embroidered on the front. The skirt was trimmed in several rows of pretty white lace and while it had seemed long enough standing up, once Lily and Finn had secured her in the pushchair and pull the crotch strap up between her legs, she was horrified to see it ride up, revealing a thick white disposable nappy. She smelled strongly of baby powder and Finn had cheekily dripped baby oil between her legs as she lay on the bed to be dressed. The warm moisture made her squirm in her seat, so the nappy rustled loudly.
To stop her fiddling with her outfit, Finn had suggested they give Baby Tilly some gloves, and had fastened her hands into locking pastel mitts that rendered her hands useless. She couldn’t even pull down her skirt to cover her padding.
“I hate you so much,” she’d hissed at Finn as he muffled her hands, but he only said “such a brave girl”, popped in her dummy and fluffed out the bow under her chin, before pulling on her lacy ankle socks and shiny white shoes.
As she was wheeled into the halls and more students burst out laughing at her pathetic fate, Ash whined to herself.
“Pwee, Ily,” she said from behind her dummy. “Pwee can I a’leaft get ou’ the buggy?”
“Now, Tilly, remember that you have to call me Mummy today,” said Lily, wagging her finger at her doll.
Seriously? Ash grunted and went back to dissociating in her chariot.
“Aww,” gushed a Year 9 student that Ash vaguely remembered tormenting. “Little Ashy needs pampers!”
She bent down to pinch Ash’s cheek. “Awww, such a cutie-pie! Little Ashy is so cute, isn’t she?”
“She’s called Tilly,” said Lily. “She’s two years old!”
“Mnnnnrr,” groaned Ash.
The girl and her friends hooted with laughter. “That’s fricking ADORABLE! Hey, maybe next year you can try potty training her!”
“Maybe!” said Lily. “I think she’s nearly ready to be a big girl. Then we can try pull-ups. But for now, Mummy’s got to be careful.”
She wheeled Ash along to screeches of hilarity.
“Now,” said Lily. “It’s time for class so let’s just check that Tilly doesn’t need a change.”
Before Ash could react, she had pressed a hand lightly to the padded crotch of the nappy.
“Nope! Big girl! No weewees!” she said, and Ash died even more inside, desperately trying to grip the hem of the skirt with her useless paws but failing to pull it down.
Ash found herself parked at the back of Lily’s class, where Lily removed her dummy and gave her a bottle of juice to finish while Mummy studied. The teacher had to threaten the other students with detentions to stop them turning round to pull faces at her. Ash recognised yet more of the younger pupils she’d menaced in the past. She could hardly blame them for enjoying her misery.
She didn’t manage to finish the bottle so once the bell rang, Lily held it up and instructed her to finish it, unless she wanted a spanked bottom. The prospect of being spanked again in front of everyone was bad enough, but in a nappy? She drank as quickly as she could.
Lunchtime was equally mortifying, as Lily tied a bib round her neck and produced a jar of mushy baby food. She tugged out the dummy once more and unscrewed the lid, stirring the foul-smelling paste with a plastic spoon.
“How’s Baby Tilly behaving, Lily?” Finn joined them with a warm grin.
“She’s been very good but she needed Mummy’s help to finish her bottle, didn’t she?” beamed Lily, patting Ash on her bonnet. “She hasn’t needed a change yet either.”
Ash’s face blazed and she turned her face away from the two of them, but she heard Lily’s musical lilt:
“Anyway, now she’s got her bib on, it’s time for dinner! Open wide for Mummy!”
Ash stayed turned away, unable to make herself eat the slop in front of Finn. Then she heard him say, “Looks like she’s not feeling it, Lily. How about you go get some pudding for yourself and I’ll try?”
Ash practically pulled a muscle straining away from her crush. She heard her pampers crinkle again and cringed once more.
“Come on, Ash. Let’s get you fed for Lily,” he whispered, and Ash blushed as he used her real name. She half-turned in surprise and he caught her chin, thrusting a glob of spinach puree into her mouth.
“Ugghhh!” she shuddered, as the disgusting stuff went down, and Finn grinned.
“I am a terrible person for enjoying this as much as I am,” he said, and brought another spoonful toward her. She swerved the spoon but ended up knocking it onto her bib in a green splash.
“Aww, that’s ok,” he said. “Though you really do look like a baby now with that messy stain. Just one more spoonful and I’ll toss the rest in the bin, I promise. Lily won’t know.”
Ash reluctantly opened up and Finn popped half of the spoonful in, then smeared the rest around her mouth. Ash grunted in outrage but focused on swallowing the food
“Good girl,” said Finn, and leaned in to hug Ash in her buggy. His arms were strong and Ash felt a warm glow fill her body as he enveloped her.
When Lily came back, Finn showed her the empty jar, tossing the carton containing the remainder into the nearest bin.
“What a good baby!” said Lily.
When they finally got back to the Sutters’ house and Ash was unstrapped from her mobile prison, she wobbled a bit on her underused legs, falling on her bottom with a loud crinkle.
Lily was full of praise for her doll as Finn helped Ash up.
“Tilly was so well-behaved in French class, and she didn’t wet her nappy once! Honestly, I was a bit glad. I wasn’t really looking forward to changing her.” She wrinkled her nose.
“You sure, Lily?” asked Finn, inspecting Ash’s pampers. Ash turned away in shame, but Finn concluded that she had indeed stayed dry.
He unlocked her mitts. Ash pulled out her dummy with a pop and stood there in the bedroom, not sure whether her punishment was over.
“What do you think then, Lil?” said Finn. “Is Tilly Ash again yet?”
Lily smiled. “Yes! She’s been a bit naughty but a really good dolly this week. I think she can be a human girl again now.”
Ash breathed a sigh of relief and began to undo her glossy white shoes.
“Hang on a sec,” said Finn. “Lil, how bout you go downstairs and watch TV and I’ll help your doll turn back into a girl.”
Lily nodded and dashed out. Soon the sound of cartoons blared through the house.
Finn closed the door and told Ash to stand still. He untied her bonnet ribbon and lifted it off her head, then removed her wig and scruffed up her natural hair.
“Thank you for doing this,” he said. “I know it wasn’t fun for you –“
“It was a fucking nightmare!” spat Ash, finding her voice.
Finn smiled. “Yeah, that’s one way of putting it. But that was how Lil felt when you destroyed her doll. You might have noticed she’s kind of sensitive.”
Ash considered this and nodded. Finn turned her round and began unbuttoning her dress.
“Anyway,” he continued. “I think she feels like the debt is paid. She’s even had a couple of older kids high-fiving her for showing the bully who’s boss. I think she might even make friends with some of them.”
“I’m glad someone’s come out of this not looking like a complete fool,” grumbled Ash, shivering as Finn took down the shoulders of the dress and undid the fussy sash at the back.
“You’re leaving in a few weeks,” said Finn. “As am I. You got through this week and you can get through those as well. Just don’t go back to tormenting younger kids again and it’ll all pass.”
Ash supposed he was right.
“Don’t take yourself too seriously,” he said. “You don’t have to make other people feel bad just to feel powerful. So don’t.”
He peeled off the dress completely, leaving her almost naked except for her nappy, and couldn’t help but chuckle as she wrapped her arms around her breasts.
“Fuck you,” said Ash, but she half-smiled, sitting on the bed so he could take off her socks and shoes.
“Lie down,” he instructed. When she hesitated, he gently pushed her onto her back and began to undo the tapes of the nappy.
Ash’s face grew hot and she closed her eyes.
“Mmm,” she moaned quietly as he opened the nappy and gently checked her for wetness.
“Just like Lil said,” said Finn. “All dry like a big girl. That means you get your knickers back.”
He tugged on the cotton underwear as Ash lay there, dizzied.
“I should humiliate you more often,” he said. “I think someone actually enjoys it.”
Ash was suddenly embarrassed and sat up, about to protest.
“Not at school, of course,” said Finn. “You’ve served your sentence there. And definitely nowhere near Lily…”
Ash nodded frantically at that part, drawing her knees up to her chest. Her heart was hammering.
“…But if you find yourself being bad again,” Finn said, helping her on with her jeans and t-shirt, “or even just thinking bad thoughts, and you want to come and see me, I would absolutely put you over my knee in a heartbeat.”
Ash the loudmouth could hardly speak. She felt a pulsing between her legs at the prospect. What was wrong with her? Anyone would think she’d enjoyed being humiliated. Surely now she could forget about all that.
“Umm,” she managed.
“Yeah?” Finn raised an eyebrow.
There was a knock at the door. Mum.
Ash shook her head. “Nothing! Umm, could I use your bathroom? I’ve not…all day…”
Finn grinned. “Sure. Second door on the left.”
Ash washed her hands and met Finn and her mother downstairs.
“Well? Learned your lesson, Ashley?” said Mum. “Are we done with all this bullying now?”
Ash looked at Finn, who held her gaze.
She went over to Lily, who was engrossed in the TV.
“Lily, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to you and your doll. I’d like to get you another one if you tell me which one you want.”
Lily turned to face her.
“That’s ok. Thanks for being my dolly this week to make up for it. I don’t think any doll would be quite as fun as you anyway. But it was a lot of work getting you dressed in the morning. I think I need a break from dolls.”
Ash smiled despite herself.
Mum’s phone rang and she went out to the care to answer it, indicating that Ash should meet her there when she was ready.
Ash turned to Finn.
“Umm, thank you, I guess?”
“What for? I just spent a week tormenting you!”
“Hm. It’s complicated. But I think you helped me through it. I think I have learned a few things.”
“Yes,” said Ash. “And maybe about myself. There’s a lot to unpack.”
She thought for a second, scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. Then, before she could chicken out, she hugged him fiercely and kissed him on the cheek. Shocked at herself, she ran out to the waiting car before Finn could respond.
As Ash and her Mum drove away, Finn opened the paper. On it, Ash had written her phone number and the legend:
“Fuck You. x”